Posts Tagged ‘Grover Cleveland’

Why Fight Only Dogs?

Saturday, August 15th, 2009


Grover Cleveland
: I firmly hoped that the local football club would employ that Vick chap who was so full of mayhem. Alas, the Philadelphia club has engaged my wishes. Time for them to book their train tickets to Florida! I hear Miami is lovely that time of year, though filthy with Latins and children of Moses.

I cannot fathom the disconcertion caused by his staging of canine exhibitions. While mayor of the Queen City I encouraged our fair citizens to fight their creatures of earned husbandry in contest of mortal peril. Look at this splendid measure of Buffalo masculinity:

He looks like a gentleman who would enjoy pitting his animal stock — a rabid lamb, perhaps — against his neighbors’ stock. I think he’s more concerned about winning contests of sport. The spilling of blood is likely a minor concern.

Ducks, perhaps. Ducks would be a better animal to fight.

Once completed, their feathers would make fine bedding.

The Bills will achieve a 6-10 record due to lack of a quality offensive and defensive line.

No F—ing Way

Sunday, March 8th, 2009

Grover Cleveland: What? Seriously? You’re serious. This isn’t a joke?

The Buffalo Bills — the Buffalo Billssigned Terrell Owens. Was Ralph Wilson hanging a clock over his toilet, slip, hit his on the toilet seat and suddenly forget he’s a cheap bastard? Did the franchise suddenly remember it’s not playing in Division 1-A?

Wow.

With this move, the Bills jump from a 6-10 team to a 8-8 team next season.

Easy.